Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Looking Glass

                        Lauren's-artwork

Under a looking glass things are magnified. The little girl sits and looks upward. Curious how her feelings are not just a heart on sleeve, but literally heart in hand. How she longs to stuff them in a pocket and tell them to hush.

But the magnifying glass does not play such childish games. Instead it hints to look closer and remain sensitive. In doing so she begins to see that her feelings do not change. They remain heart on sleeve, and in hand dripping nearly everywhere, in the grocery store, at the stoplight, opening the closet, seeing an old friend, folding clothes, in the day to day moments of here and now. Nothing has changed yet nothing remains the same.

This is much harder than what I expected. Did I expect anything easy? The intensity of the senses exposes life in extraordinary detail… magnificent and frightening, raw and subtle, ah the aspects of grieving! Moving forward does not mean moving away. One can protect the tender spot and learn to live with it.

The looking glass sees the child leans in and says,"Come look life is here and so is your father, he is not gone… let's see him with new eyes."

I certainly hope so as she holds on tightly.

Photo: My friend Lauren's artwork. She made me this piece long ago.

 

 

 

Comments

22 responses to “Looking Glass”

  1. Alison Gibbs

    Our love never dies.
    Take care
    Alison

    Reply
  2. Jeanne

    Grief and loss and the process of trying to deal with it all is a bitter pill in life as we all must face at some point.
    It will be two years this summer since my darling Mother began her eternal life and I am raw………..it has been a long long long hard journey I am not sure if I will ever heal completely from.
    Love to you and yours both near and far.
    The depth of your grief is the depth of your love.
    Precious and fragile things need special handling that is how I must be handled these days. Very gently and I wish the same for you and yours.

    Reply
  3. Miss Maddie’s

    Dealing with the passing of a loved one is like Motherhood, it does not come with a manual or how to instructions.Each individual must deal with this loss over time and as they see fit.
    If you look through that looking glass and gaze into those soulful eyes you will see she holds promise for the future and desire for life.
    xo Susan

    Reply
  4. pauline

    It’s the missing of the physical that strikes us down again and again. Time eases that awful ache, but there is no way past it, only through it. Look for the small happy moments and know they will always be there between the sad ones. Looking for those helps time pass…

    Reply
  5. Candy

    He isn’t gone as long as any one of you lives on. So today, Corey, I pray for you to have eyes to see and ears to hear. Father, today show Corey where and how her daddy resides all around her.

    Reply
  6. Dee

    Moving away is impossible…your father is a part of your life…and will always remain in your heart. The heaviness you feel in your heart will lighten as the days go by. I pray for strength as the days go by.

    Reply
  7. Julie

    When my dad died I could not understand how life went on as normal. I would cry at the most inconvenient times,..many times in public. I was once told to ‘get over it!’ { I got over him instead}I tried to go about my daily life, but it would come upon me and there was nothing to be done. It seemed to have a life of its own. But…time passed, and the very things that used to make me cry still sometimes did, but sometimes also made me smile. I was seeing thru new eyes…eyes that had cried many tears for what was, and for what might have been.

    Reply
  8. Rosemary

    I know he is here in your heart,and mind.
    Rosemary

    Reply
  9. Tammy

    The memories and love you will always treasure in your heart. When I lost my sister in law a few months ago it was so hard but now I see in daily things like books she read, flowers she would have grown and I smile for I know she is with me just differently.
    blessings and love

    Reply
  10. penny

    I read here everyday and see the healing…It’s so slow that you may not realize. God bless you Corey. Penny

    Reply
  11. Laura

    Oh, Corey, my heart aches for you. The depth of your grief mirrors the depth of the love you have for your dear dad.

    Reply
  12. Brenda Kula

    Grieving is so very personal for everyone. Some keep it inside; some talk about it. You will have lulls where some days go so smoothly that you think the grief has passed into the night. Then it will spring on you like it was yesterday. Just go with it and accept that it is a journey you must travel.
    Brenda

    Reply
  13. Suzanne

    Such a slow and personal path, grieving.
    You make your journey through it Corey. Cry as much as you feel like it, whenever you feel like it… Just let it come out. You know its not easy. As I’ve said to you before… just take your time.
    I pray for you.
    Love*

    Reply
  14. karen eileen

    My heart goes out to you. I lost my father five monthes before I was married, 20 years ago. I cherish all of the wonderful memories so much now….you will too.
    KAREN EILEEN

    Reply
  15. herhimnbryn

    You do what you have to.
    You weep when you have to.
    You laugh when you have to.
    You and only you, knows deep in your being what your heart needs.
    PAX.

    Reply
  16. Colette

    “Moving forward does not mean moving away.” This is so very true.
    xoxo

    Reply
  17. beachy

    I truly believe that those loved ones who have gone on before us are helping us somehow to overcome our grief. We need to listen for those angel thoughts that will help us along, however hard it often is.

    Reply
  18. rositta

    This weekend after more than one year, I am emptying my Mom’s bedroom. It is still traumatic for me but not as raw as had I done it earlier. Grieving goes through it’s stages, I have now passed one of everything from birthdays to Christmas to Easter. Things do get better Corey…ciao

    Reply
  19. Ann

    With deepest sympathy, I am truly sorry for your great loss. I lost a very dear uncle 5 years ago very suddenly with no warning, no good-bye, no last I love you. Came home and DH (darling husband) gave me the sad news. Even today if I think about him I can shed a few tears. I miss him so much. Our lives are never the same after a big loss. Yes, daily life continues but there will always be moments when you flashback and remember this or that and how much you miss them. It seems part of us goes with them. Hard to explain.
    And now we got news that my dad has cancer. I told DH this evening …. dad is slipping away fast…better prepare myself. How does one prepare for that?!
    I know everyone will go through a big loss…we think life will remain the same but it doesn’t. Then I think about how God owns each of us. Our loved ones are only on loan to us because one day He will say “I love you and it is time to be with me.” In a place we don’t understand but can only imagine. I once had a very close priest/friend pass away at age 55. How I loved this saintly person…but I feel his presence so strong at times because at his services I went to say good-bye and it was as if a big smile was on his face and he was telling me…don’t be sad….I am happy…no more illness….no more tears. I actually feel a great sense of peace when I think of Fr. Ted.
    I pray for peace to you and your family and to all those out there that have lost a loved one.
    Blessings of peace and confort, Ann

    Reply
  20. amber

    Oh Corey. He is NOT gone. Energy can not die, you know this. His life energy just moved…out of your sight.
    Not out of your heart.
    🙂

    Reply
  21. red tin heart

    Your words are very beautiful.
    xoxo Nita

    Reply
  22. pinar

    Dear Corey,
    I lost both mum and dad.. in one and a half year..
    it is now fifteen years they are gone.. and I am an adult.. everywhere for everyone.. now that I have no parents..
    But whenever I feel oppressed or down..or don’t know what to decide.. I have the same feeling.. that mum or dad is right there and tels me the much needed words ..leads me the ways.. they still are there for me..
    I am terribly sorry for your dad.. but he will always be there for you too.. when needed..
    God will give you the patience you need and soothe your grief..Love to you and your family..

    Reply

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