Reflections while Singing in the Rain

Vintage baby in a antique frame

Reflections, one after another. Connecting one moment of time to the present. A song comes on the radio and the words transform here to then- I am a little girl out in my dad's barn and suddenly I see him standing before me…

The song continues to play, while the words carry me back, I am standing there for a split second and death cannot steal the memory that feels so real….

Grief has it own map, and it takes time to walk along the unknown path it puts before you. Walking, running, or standing still… the view remains the same, the rhythm beats on. I feel its strangeness, the sudden urge to run or cry or wrap myself up a blanket and hide. But grief does not let you go, no it might change its song and dance routine but it plays on. The pain is either embraced, or it embraces you without you knowing it gets under your skin.

It does not matter if the person you loved died young, old, after a long illness, or suddenly, or if you got to say goodbye…death sting and mourning has a song all its own.

As the floodgate open swirling memories around me, my heart hears a sad song…and dares not move-

Each step forward is one further away from the moment of when my father was alive. It is a new world and the song has me somewhat off balance. So I whisper to the new day,

"Sing softly I will listen."



Comments

38 responses to “Reflections while Singing in the Rain”

  1. Anna Bluebell

    Sometimes I think back to when my children were small and I get this same kind of loss. Their childhood will never come again, but I have the memory of it wrapped in silk deep inside my heart.

  2. Barbara Sydney Australia

    Corey,your writing is magic. Thank you for sharing your special gift with us all.

  3. I cannot imagine the pain of grieving the loss of someone so loved and dear. Take your time. Do whatever you need to do and be gentle and tender with your heart, it needs healing.
    I am thinking of you and praying for comfort and courage. xx

  4. Elizabeth

    So true Corey…it takes time and each step must be gone through in the grief process. Thanks for sharing your thoughts as always. Bless you as you make this journey!!
    Elizabeth

  5. Marie-Noëlle

    The power and magic of words to a memorable tune… that comes and goes, that brings and takes, that remembers and forgets, that softens and bites, that opens and closes, that pulls and pushes, that emerges and sinks, that shakes and strengthens…
    that sings and sings…

  6. Grief continues on forever in some way or another. I lost my Mom when she was only 66 (15 years ago) and when I hear songs she had at her funeral I always cry. You can’t help or prevent it, that’s just the way it is.
    Alison

  7. Corey, I will hold you in my thoughts today, praying that you will find comfort in your memories and sweetness in your new song.

  8. God bless you and yours both near and far…….
    Love Jeanne
    Love and Prayers

  9. When my father was there anymore I knew he still was there, I miss to hug him though, that was the difficult part…still is…but he is always with me and I found that the amazing, incredible -in a way- part, that lost is not lost really but another way of presence.
    Love to you and family dear Corey

  10. constance lefevre forehand

    please put these experiences that are so close to your heart in a book that we can pass on to others in the future. they capture so much love.

  11. Lovely words Corey. Lovely.

  12. Precious.

  13. Corey..Just arrived home from France to the sad news of your fathers passing. My condolences to you and your family. May you find comfort in each other and the memories you share. Blessing for all.

  14. It’s true Corey, it does not matter if they’ve gone quickly or if we’ve had time to accept the reality of their passing. We’re never prepared.
    My grandmother died one year before my son was born. She was the witness at our wedding and so happy and proud for us. I ache that she never got to see my children.
    That was 29 years ago! And guess what? I still stop dead in my tracks when I see an elderly lady that looks like her from the back. I expect her to turn around and be my grandma. Amazing where our minds can take us.
    As always, I love your posts. They are a launching pad for many thoughts and discussions.
    – Suzanne, the Farmer’s Wife

  15. time is not on our side, stealing like a thief…
    yet the moments, the memories are just a few seconds away… always present, never fading, real for ever!

  16. Sweet…lovely words…so sad…but so true.

  17. Very true Corey.
    Still very sad.
    Thinking of you,
    Rosemary

  18. I’ve recently discovered a song that’s so beautiful, so much my sister, that I can’t listen to it because it drops me into such deep grief I almost can’t find my way back out again.
    Music has the power to take us into the past, into places where the people we love wait for us.

  19. martina

    My Dad died 23 years ago. He didn’t sing often, but every time we took car vacations down the Coast, he’d sing Down in the Valley. “Angels in heaven know I love you”…still can hear his voice singing that line.

  20. Corey~ As much as Wind Beneath My Wings reminds me of my Mom and the Air Force song for my Dad ~ everytime I hear Impossible Dream I think of my mom (this was her favorite song) and Sunny Side of The Street, I think of my Dad – he loved to sing and whistle this song. It is amazing how music touches our hearts.

  21. so so true. xo

  22. Oh the power of music and lyrics, a potent reminder that our beloved departed really haven’t departed in spirit.
    xoxo

  23. Suzanne

    Oh sweet Corey. Let the song play.
    Love*

  24. The pain has embraced me and gotten under my skin as you say. Problem with me is I can’t get it out just yet…I didn’t get to say goodbye. She was much better during the night and I went home to sleep a little and the next thing I knew I had the phone call (coma). Maybe if I hadn’t needed sleep and had been there…all those what if’s…ciao

  25. I can hear your heart Corey

  26. While you walk that path, I’ll be praying for you.
    Becky

  27. At my country they say, you have to go at least through one long year with all it’s tides of events and all its everyday occurences before you can really live your life without the one that’s gone. But I think that everyone needs his own time of mourning. Sometimes it’s good when everyday life is catching over so you don’t have to think of your loss, perhaps you have times where you want to talk everything with someone over and over, and there are times perhaps where you don’t want to see anybody and stay alone in your room and cry. My thoughts are with you!

  28. Grief is its own drummer, and has its own beat. Don’t ignore it, or try to step off its path.

  29. You are in my thoughts and prayers Corey!

  30. Such a accuratae account of grief you articulate in words. It is so clear and precise dear Corey.
    The best thing, through what you share I feel hope. A trasition that you are moving forward to the next phase. Do you know, I was bitten badly on the hand by a dog while experiencing my grief. After I realized it was a gift from God. A physical pain to divert my attention until more days passed and I could handle and accept what happened emotionally.
    Thinking and praying for you and with you and with your wonderful Mom!
    xox
    Constance
    For the Peace that passes all understanding.

  31. ‘grief has its own map’…corey, that is so true & such a beautiful way to say it (i am a lover of cartography).

  32. I’ve gone through this, too, Corey. It’s going to take time. Just remember that your dad knew that you loved him and he loved you. As cliche as this may sound, love never dies. It always stays within us.

  33. Dear Corey,
    I have lurked for quite some time – my sister lured me in months ago to read your love story. And now I have followed you through your father’s illness and death. You are truly an inspiration. Do not think of every day as a day further from the day he was alive, but a day closer to the time you will be together again. Thinking of you.

  34. Music has been my solace and comfort as long as I can remember. Nothing can touch a heart so gently and yet so quickly sometimes….just listen, corey.

  35. No words could be added to these thoughts…Only love.
    ((you))
    🙂

  36. Corey – so true, everytime I hear Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime by Dean Martin (which is rare these days) it reminds me of my dad. He used to do a pretty good impression. The pain will get better with time. You have continued to amaze me with your wonderful photos and way with words. Marva

  37. You’re right – I don’t think it really matters what the circumstances or the age is when it’s someone you love.
    Objectively, it might. When it’s your loss, it doesn’t.
    Bisous de l’Aveyron.

  38. CAMILLA

    It will be the little things
    that you will remember,
    the quiet moments,
    the smiles, the laughter,
    And although it may seem
    hard right now
    it will be the memories
    of these little things
    that help push
    away the pain
    And bring the smiles
    back again.
    With Loving Memories.
    So sorry to hear of the sad loss of your father Corey, may I offer you and your family my deepest sympathy. Hoping that my Poem may ease your sorrow.
    Love Camilla.x

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